I was hurt by this individual. Really hurt. Because although I wouldn’t have said I was a close friend of “Emmett”, I’d had several long conversations and supported the author on my website. Just like I do for all authors.
The sad thing, I wouldn’t have done a single thing different if this person had put themselves out in the world as female writer. I was supporting the writer not the person. The hurt bit came from the dishonesty surrounding the creation of the fake person, one that hurt many of my friends.
Recently something else has cropped up to my attention where it was shouted loud and clear,
“I use a pseudonym to protect my family.”
The comment was directed at me, and I was surprised. Because don’t we all? Talk about grasping the wrong end of the stick. I don't believe I have ever once implied that pen names should not be used. I’ve talked to a LOT of authors and really, most of us use pen names. I have absolutely no problem with someone using a pen name. A pseudonym. A fake name. A name of the opposite gender. Initials. Nope. I have no problem with people who protect themselves.
Do you know those quizzes we get on Facebook? And the question pops up again and again: What do you value most in a friend? My answer is always HONESTY.
And I’m not talking about an “honest” name, I’m talking about what is on the inside. That ability to be honest with me about who you are and your motives. Not to be someone else because that’s what you think I want. Not to fake it. Not to fake friendship. Not to fake interest because of something YOU want out of me.
I’d rather you were honest with me, because, do you know what? I’m accepting of all people. (Except the dishonest ones). You vote for a different political party? So what? You like Fan Fic and I don’t? So what? You like pop music and I don’t? So what? Honest friendship survives around differences.
So to that person who thinks that they can stomp on the friendship that once existed between us? To use me and abuse the hand of friendship? To do your own thing without thought to feelings of the other? Yes. I call you dishonest.